322 replies to this topic

[Flop]

Qbix, on Oct 19 2005, 09:04 PM, said:

Llamatron:
his game's simply brilliant, and you can't afford it not to play it.

That it sounds a bit odd

Fixed.

[Sean]

Tom Henrik, on Oct 17 2005, 07:20 PM, said:

Fixed. I also fixed the slight grammar error with using "Full Up", and fixed a "there" in the following sentence.

It now looks like this:

"Basically, there are 4 servers and more often than not they are filled up. If they're not all packed with players..."

I actually asked for that paragraph to be removed, it is no longer relavant as the actual number of servers has increased.  

[Tom Henrik]

Taken care of

[PrejudiceSucks]

On the front page - it should be ***-whooping (or arse-whooping, I can't remember which) not whopping.

Although the people in the game do have large arses.

[A. J. Raffles]

Latest review, first sentence:

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If your like me...

Should be "you're", obviously.

[DeathDude]

Ooh first sentence I get caught , ah wells fixed it, thanks for spotting it AJ.

[A. J. Raffles]

Hmm, sorry, DD, but I think I've got a few more corrections...:

Negative points said:

Repetitive after awhile

Awhile is actually an adverbial phrase meaning "for a short time". So it should be "Repetitive after a while".

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If you're like me and remember the classic sonic games from the Sega Genesis and wanting to relieve those glory days back when the sonic games were fun and challenging,

Better change that to "want".

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look no further than this fan made game in Neo Sonic Universe.

"fan-made". And a comma instead of the "in" might be clearer.

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Good graphics, good game play and the old style from the genesis sonic games are all present in this game, so if you're a fan of that kind of sonic game play this should give you a treat.

"gameplay" should be one word. And Sonic is capitalised, no?

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In the game you play in the beginning as Sonic, as you soon discover that your friends Tails, Knuckles, Amy and Shadow have all been kidnapped by a mysterious enemy, so Sonic goes forth to save them all.

Odd sentence. What about "You play Sonic, who discovers in the beginning that his friends Tails, Knuckles, Amy and Shadow have all been kidnapped by a mysterious enemy and need to be saved."? That way you could get rid of the second "go forth" as well...

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Yes a common story that has been played out countless times, but the sonic games haven't always been known for their deep story lines, but for the action and speed.

"Sonic" should be capitalised again. And I think "storyline" should be one word.

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This game actually borrows more from the style of the recent game boy advance games, in graphics style and animations too, but still it's classic Sonic like it's meant to be.

It's a name, so it should be "Game Boy Advance". And that "in graphics style and animations too" sounds a little weird. What about getting rid of the first comma and changing it to "in terms of graphics and animations"?

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Graphics in the game are done nicely

I think you're missing a definite article at the beginning.

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, the worlds are bright with colors and the environment look really well done as you move from area to area, each one is different as you explore the worlds.

That should be either "environments" or "looks". And those two "as" look a bit awkward as well. What about "the worlds are bright with colours and the environment looks really well, as you move from area to area, exploring the worlds. Each one is different."

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The characters themselves also look good, each one with their own unique look and own animations as you play through the game.

I don't think a PC "their" would work here. How about making it a proper plural instead? "The characters themselves also look good; they all have their own look and animations." And I'd really get rid of that "as" phrase.

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The music as well is done with a nicely up beat and good style, it certainly made the game fun to play and get through, it will loop eventually but still you hear enough of the track for it to not get annoying.

Somehow the words "well" and "done" so close to each other always remind me a bit of a steak... And the "as well" doesn't really make sense here, so why not just leave it out?

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So fun feature you can play with after you have beaten the game.

"A fun feature"?

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Which brings me to some of the more annoying bugs in the game, now this bug is one of the really annoying ones that really I wish was fixed. Occasionally I've noticed if you hit a wall in one of the worlds, your character will get stuck, and I mean stuck so you can't get free of the wall, like your super glued to it or something.

What about a colon after "game"? Then you could go on "one of the more annoying bugs that I wish could be fixed is that occasionally, when you hit a wall in one of the worlds, your character will get stuck - and I mean stuck. You can't get free of the wall, as if you were super-glued to it, or something."

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With Sonic who can use one of his moves to bounce off, no worries, with your other characters though, ha ha nope your stuck.

I'd stick in an extra comma before "though" and something like a dash before the "ha ha" bit. And it should be "you're" again.

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Had to restart the level, happened to me a few times and it can get annoying when you get so far in a level and that happens.

That "had" doesn't really make sense there. What about "You'll have to restart the level; this hapened to me a few times, etc."?

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Also once you've beaten the game you have to beat it again with the unlocked character you received so at first it would be Tails to get Knuckles, and you have to do this 3 more times in this example so it may get repetitive for some people.

A bit of extra punctuation might look nice: "Also, once you've beaten the game, you have to beat it again with the unlocked character you received. So at first it would be Tails to get Knuckles, and then you'll have to do this three more times, which some people may feel is repetitive."

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Still though, this game still is a very well put together game, that if you're a sonic fan you shall enjoy this game very much like I did. So do yourself a favor, grab yourself a copy of this game, and relieve the glory days of Sonic one more time

Hehe, if you say "you shall enjoy this game" you're basically saying "...and I'll make sure that you bloody well do enjoy it, or else".
"Still, though, this game is very well put together. If you're a Sonic fan like me, you will enjoy it very much. So do yourself a favour, grab a copy of this game, and relive the glorious days of Sonic."

Yes, I'm nasty, I know. Don't mind me.

[Tom Henrik]

Don't feel bad DD, you should see her rip my reviews to shreds in the AB Grammar Forum

[A. J. Raffles]

Tom Henrik, on Nov 1 2005, 11:06 AM, said:

Don't feel bad DD, you should see her rip my reviews to shreds in the AB Grammar Forum

Ooh, that reminds me: haven't done that in ages.

[DeathDude]

Nah trust me Tom it doesn't bother me. I already have it happen at college so I guess I can expect it here too , only way I'll learn.

[PrejudiceSucks]

Or you could fly off to the UK and make an attempt at getting grammar-improving brain surgery for free on the NHS. You'd have to get dual citizenship, but I reckon it'd be a lot cheaper than private brain surgery.

But then that's not really learning either.

[A. J. Raffles]

PrejudiceSucks, on Nov 1 2005, 05:57 PM, said:

Or you could fly off to the UK and make an attempt at getting grammar-improving brain surgery for free on the NHS. You'd have to get dual citizenship, but I reckon it'd be a lot cheaper than private brain surgery.

But then that's not really learning either.

And you're sure that grammar-improving surgery available through the NHS would be worth getting?

[PrejudiceSucks]

Yes, although you'd have to claim some pretty odd grounds to get it. Like possibly that your grammar was so inadequate that it was actually dangerous.

Why would it not be worth getting?

[DeathDude]

Grammar improving brain surgery   uh I think I'll pass on that.

[Doubler]

Uhm, in the Emily Enough review:

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incarcerated and sent to and sent to an insane asylum

Obvious

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the game isn't totally, unoriginal

Could do without the comma.

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even almost come close

Misses an 's'.

Some minor thingy's